Confession 21

Confession.
When Kevin first broke up with me, I didn't feel like crying. I just sat there and looked at the ground. It wasn't until he thought I was crying until I actually felt like crying. He rubbed my back, and reassured me that it was alright. I didn't start crying until I started talking about how everything would remind me of him. How I couldn't imagine not being together. How he could go hook up with whoever. How he could find someone that would being physically perfect. How he could do whatever he wanted without me holding him back.

I think I'm okay now. I haven't seen him or talked to him in a pretty long while, and I feel alright. I went on a Snow Trip, and it was really unforgettable. Not in the way everyone else is saying though. It was different for me. I care. Too much. I took care of a lot of drunk people when everyone told me it wasn't necessary.

I made a decision before going on the Snow Trip to not see Kevin. At least for a long while. When I skyped with Erik the second time, I think I got that epiphany on how I was really hurting myself while seeing him. Also, I remember how Sam told me about her trips, and how they were helpful to her getting over someone. She's right. I feel fine now, honestly. Although I am confused at where I stand right now, I'm alright.

He just texted me now though, and I feel kind of nervous. I feel cold. I'm afraid of going back on everything I just typed.