It's 4PM, I've been bumming all day. I have a 12 page paper due tomorrow and I only have 4 pages. Actually, that's more than I'm used to doing, so I'm actually happy about that. But not satisfied  I keep doing this to myself. I have a research study at 5, then I group meeting at 6. I plan on staying in the library 'til 12 & taking a break about 9:30 to grab some Philz coffee. Then I have all night. Class tomorrow from 9-12, then I can work 'til class at 3, which typically gets our early, and turn in the paper by 6. I have plenty of time. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

My bank accounts are low. Lower than they've ever been. I don't know what to do for my little for graduation. Or Brent. I should probably do something for him. It's weird because when I give gifts, it's often out of obligation. Maybe that's why I stopped doing it.

I keep day dreaming of the life style I want to live. I want a cute house that's decorated well. I want to be able to cook good food and entertain guests. I want to live happily with my love beside me. I want to be crafty & creative, and finally satisfied with my style. This is why I keep going back to the idea of a blog. I want that life. I unconsciously believe having a blog will give me this life magically.

I keep day dreaming of what I want to do this summer. The camera I told myself I'd buy. The free time I can theoretically spend making crafts and projects. The money that will magically appear in my bank account. The new clothes I will own. And accessories and shoes. I want everything now & I don't want to slowly invest the time or money. Time especially.

I'm hoping that all my day dreaming had gotten out of my system by the time I sit down to write my paper.

I keep worrying about money when I legitly have money in my savings. I could just magically transfer the money over. I'm not sure why I'm being such a diva. I can also spend less money & actually think about things before I buy them.

I need to return items: Michaels, H&M, Payless, Target

Clean out my closet. Upcycle what I can & donate the rest.
Thrift often.
Think about outfits more.
Get a credit card.
Work.
Study & get a good grade in summer school.
Prepare for fall semester
Get a camera. Because I keep wanting one for many years.
Play my uke.