Sunday, October 28, 2012
Funny how the things we want in life don't end up the way we plan. So I did really want Frosh Orientation Leader, probably more than the majority of people who applied, but honestly, I'm still struggling to look on the bright side of things. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it. Sure, I made it to the last round of the selection process, but honestly, I didn't get it and I can't change their mind. I'm not one to mention why exactly I wanted it. And I'm not one to speak highly about myself. Maybe that's what I did wrong. I didn't speak extremely well about myself, but then again, who's comfortable with that? I knew I wasn't going to get it when I left my interview. I knew it didn't go well. It's funny because everyone around me saw me as an Orientation Leader. They thought I'd be good at it. They thought it fit who I was, and honestly, I really really really really wish I tried last year. For now, I guess I'll try finding something that's better suited for me. I guess I'll try to find something else to get me more involved. Honestly, I just want to step outside my comfort zone. I'm in need of a challenge. I want to look for something to do with my life. I want to be able to help others, to mentor others, to lead by example, to be who I am and love it. I want to share with others my love for this school, share what this school has done for me, how I've grown. I want to help others, and guide them into this journey. This is what I like to do. I like to help people transition. I like to help people who are starting new chapters in their lives. It's what I'm good at, it's what I like. Maybe that's why I'm so interested in helping with potentials and pledges. I didn't realize it in the beginning, but that's why I've held my positions. Recruitment chair, pledge assistant, rush chair- all positions which are extremely hands on with new members. That's what I like. And maybe not getting Orientation Leader is a good thing, it allows me more time to work on my ultimate goal- PT/PE. It's what I want to do. All the blood, sweat, and tears- I'm willing. I'm willing, but am I ready? I need more steps to help me. I'm not ready yet. I miss Link Crew, honestly. After applying for Frosh Orientation, I kept thinking about my experience with Link Crew, and how it felt helping the freshmen out, facilitating events, and ultimately, being role models for them. I think about all the games we played and the different team building activities we learned. I guess I wish I really was apart of the Frosh Orientation crew, because ultimately, Link Crew didn't teach me enough. There's so much more for me to learn. There's so much stuff out there.. all I want to do is experience it. I want to learn more so I can do more.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
It's been a long week, man. Felt semi sick all week.
Last Saturday was HOMECOMING GAME, meaning tail gate :) Honestly, parties really aren't much of my thing. I think they're pretty awkward and I never know what to do because everyone just stands around drinking or playing drinking games. Not my scene, however, I do go to a tail gate and a few special events. And at times, they're fun, but a majority of the time, I just feel awkward. Homecoming tail gate was alright. I feel like two years ago when other people planned them, they were WAY CRAZIER, but times changed. Thinking back, maybe I thought they were crazier because I wasn't accustomed to parties. I'm still not. I'm not much of a drinker. Anyways, it was alright. Had some jungle juice and beers, that's about it. After went back to my place with Andrew and Kevin and chilled. Drank a bottle of white peach whatever-it-was-called. Ate some Mac & Cheese. Andrew left, and Kevin and got to watch Netflix :) And went to In-n-Out because we were starving. That reminds me, the Friday before Andrew and I had Frosh Orientation Workshop. Basically a group interview-type thing where they see how you work in teams and problem solve. After Andrew came over and we ate ramen. SO MUCH RAMEN. Went to Valley Fair with the neighbors & Andrew, then had a casual drinking night with fondue, nommy.And Michael Fung came too! Ahahaha. We didn't even really drink though. What up with that.
Last Sunday was LSR :) As I received an index card stating that "Both of your littles...." My heart stopped. I reread it. My brain didn't work. Both of my littles... THIS MEANT I HAD TWINS. But I didn't request twins. I was really freaked out, unsure of myself, pretty uneasy, extreme anxious, but overall, LSR was a very positive experience. Before last semester, I never knew how LSR worked. I knew pledges left for closed agenda, then actives who were picking up went to the front of the room. Eventually, they left and came back and got their littles. Ultimately, it's a giant chaotic, screaming-filled, exciting event. This semester, however, I was apart of it. I got to scream and run around, and experience what so many others have already experienced. Two years, and now I have Littles to call my own. Now I am a Big.
Monday's clue was a letter were originally wrote during a big sibling workshop. Since I had two littles, I had a few options, but what I did was took my original letter and re-wrote it so that I could have two letters. I decided to switch every other line in order to be fair. Luckily, both letters still made sense.
Had a paper due, so all morning/afternoon I worked on it before it was due.
HOLY CRAP, I GOT MY FROSH ORIENTATION CALL. I MADE IT TO THE NEXT ROUND which is a panel interview.
Tuesday had two group meetings & committee, a big assignment, and practicum!
PING PONG WAS GREAT. I won my bracket's tournament. FIRST PLACE. Second was my default warm up partner! Hehehe. And we had a really good game! Cause we played each other and I thought it would be a simple game, but he was pulling out all these tricks, so I got super competitive. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. He knows it's his fault too, sucker.
Tuesday's clue was a binder cover and a crossword puzzle. Both binder covers were personalized for the individual little, but there were a few things in common- circle stickers as balloons & a red volleyball. The crossword puzzles, however, were completely different. One was full of riddles because Little liked riddles, and the other was random vague clues about myself saying things like I have a Northface backpack & I wear contacts and glasses.
Went to Target to shop for the Clean Kit & various other items to give my little son BSR, super rushed trip! Adult Social Club! Was placed with the low functioning adults, and definitely wasn't what I expected. I didn't expect to see so many aids and I was unsure with how to communicate with them. Also, the room was small and there wasn't space for volunteers and practicum students to sit next to participants. Essentially, I did more volunteer stuff. I prepared and cleaned paint trays, served snack, stuff like that.
Went to Panda after to steal some hot sauce & soy say for Little, then another quick Target run to buy Big in a box clues! Strategically plotted and bought different things for each little. I filled boy things in one & girl things in the other, but I gave both of them different types of chap stick to find me. Also decorated the outside completely different, and got help writing stuff to hide my handwriting.
Wednesday: Big in a box clue! I was freaking out because I had no idea what to put in my box.
Group meeting. Clothes Closet volunteering went well. I saw this brand new cute dress, which might possibly become mine if one of the participants doesn't want it. It's very simple and cute :) Had a bunch of laughs with the participants :)
Stopped my the tables to check some of the littles' binders, hehe. RUBIK'S CUBE. I have been reignited. AHHHHH, I feel a cuber phase coming back.. Just hearing me talk about it is like... AHHH. My fastest time was... 28.6, I believe. I wanna get back into shape! And I shall teach my Omega too, kekeke. I have a cool Omega :)
Snack shopping with my love :) Dollar Tree & Walmart! Then paddle shopping! (My wallet honestly hurts..) Watched Netflix then went to Sweet Tomatoes, nommy.
Came home and painted all the paddle stuff :) Hehehe, baby paddles and C's for my Littles :)
Worked on their snack bags :) I strategically gave one all the drinks and one all the food. Both of them said "Hi Little, Are you hungry? Better go find food" & "Hi Little, Are you thirsty? Better go find a drink" which lead them to each other :)
Thursday: Ping Pong class was alright. Beat my warm up partner 2/3, ahahaha. But I had a really off day and missed all my smashes. I really do like ping pong. I hope I can take intermediate next semester!
The Entertainer volunteering went well. Got to do some office work, and counted hecka candy for their Halloween party. Met some new participants.
Practicum. Teen Social Club was fun! So much more energy. It was a completely different environment, and I loved it! It was so cool because some of the participants I thought didn't really like me because they were nonverbal and didn't want to talk to me, but by the end of the night, they were talked to me a little! It was just super cool to see the difference one day can make in someone's life. Not even a day, just five hours!
Littles got their snack backs and they pretty much figured out they were twins, keke :) they got their families too! :)
Went over to Kevin's to assembly Clean kits and do some final prep for my Littles
Friday: Service! Lame service. I felt like I didn't get anything done. I hate those services :( It's like, I wanna help people, and I arrive and come ready to help, but then we just sit there. Waste of fours hours.
Practicum: Social Lites! Not gonna lie, this was a legit day. Super tiring, but I loved it! It's high functioning adults. We played all these games! It was an overall great night, and all the individuals were really cool!
Saturday: Practicum: Children's Rec! OMG I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME, definitely worth waking up early on a Saturday. Those kids are super cute. Although I had fun and connected with a few kids, it was still really challenging. It's weird though, cause I mean you can plan for everything, but with with special children, it's all up in the air and they don't necessarily do unorganized activities.
RAN AROUND SHOPPING FOR LAST MINUTE BSR STUFF/Spray painted/all that fun stuff.
BSR BSR BSR BSR BSR. Ahhh, I was super scared that my littles wouldn't like me or something, but I think they're both really excited :) I'm nervous, but super excited for them. And I'm so happy to have they both already :) My Littles, both kids at heart. Super kids, kekekeke I'm most definitely a baby big, but that's fine with me
Fam dinner with lots of food. SO MUCH FOOD. Didn't drink much, just a few beers. Played BP with my new NEPHEW. Because now I have one! We won against my littles! KEKEKE :P Winning shot? Off one of my littles hands, kekekekeke. REDEMPTION. Lost the second game though. And rage cage ending was super funny :) Loser bounced it into the last cup :P I love my family :)
After party. Gin & juice. Was super tired, so sat in a corner were hecka people decided to spill their guts to me. Pretty interesting night. Heard some rumor about me (Not negative, just incorrect). Went home and knocked out, and before I knew it, a week went by!
BSR out of the way. The next thing to worry about? Frosh Orientation interview. Monday.
Last Saturday was HOMECOMING GAME, meaning tail gate :) Honestly, parties really aren't much of my thing. I think they're pretty awkward and I never know what to do because everyone just stands around drinking or playing drinking games. Not my scene, however, I do go to a tail gate and a few special events. And at times, they're fun, but a majority of the time, I just feel awkward. Homecoming tail gate was alright. I feel like two years ago when other people planned them, they were WAY CRAZIER, but times changed. Thinking back, maybe I thought they were crazier because I wasn't accustomed to parties. I'm still not. I'm not much of a drinker. Anyways, it was alright. Had some jungle juice and beers, that's about it. After went back to my place with Andrew and Kevin and chilled. Drank a bottle of white peach whatever-it-was-called. Ate some Mac & Cheese. Andrew left, and Kevin and got to watch Netflix :) And went to In-n-Out because we were starving. That reminds me, the Friday before Andrew and I had Frosh Orientation Workshop. Basically a group interview-type thing where they see how you work in teams and problem solve. After Andrew came over and we ate ramen. SO MUCH RAMEN. Went to Valley Fair with the neighbors & Andrew, then had a casual drinking night with fondue, nommy.And Michael Fung came too! Ahahaha. We didn't even really drink though. What up with that.
Last Sunday was LSR :) As I received an index card stating that "Both of your littles...." My heart stopped. I reread it. My brain didn't work. Both of my littles... THIS MEANT I HAD TWINS. But I didn't request twins. I was really freaked out, unsure of myself, pretty uneasy, extreme anxious, but overall, LSR was a very positive experience. Before last semester, I never knew how LSR worked. I knew pledges left for closed agenda, then actives who were picking up went to the front of the room. Eventually, they left and came back and got their littles. Ultimately, it's a giant chaotic, screaming-filled, exciting event. This semester, however, I was apart of it. I got to scream and run around, and experience what so many others have already experienced. Two years, and now I have Littles to call my own. Now I am a Big.
Monday's clue was a letter were originally wrote during a big sibling workshop. Since I had two littles, I had a few options, but what I did was took my original letter and re-wrote it so that I could have two letters. I decided to switch every other line in order to be fair. Luckily, both letters still made sense.
Had a paper due, so all morning/afternoon I worked on it before it was due.
HOLY CRAP, I GOT MY FROSH ORIENTATION CALL. I MADE IT TO THE NEXT ROUND which is a panel interview.
Tuesday had two group meetings & committee, a big assignment, and practicum!
PING PONG WAS GREAT. I won my bracket's tournament. FIRST PLACE. Second was my default warm up partner! Hehehe. And we had a really good game! Cause we played each other and I thought it would be a simple game, but he was pulling out all these tricks, so I got super competitive. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. He knows it's his fault too, sucker.
Tuesday's clue was a binder cover and a crossword puzzle. Both binder covers were personalized for the individual little, but there were a few things in common- circle stickers as balloons & a red volleyball. The crossword puzzles, however, were completely different. One was full of riddles because Little liked riddles, and the other was random vague clues about myself saying things like I have a Northface backpack & I wear contacts and glasses.
Went to Target to shop for the Clean Kit & various other items to give my little son BSR, super rushed trip! Adult Social Club! Was placed with the low functioning adults, and definitely wasn't what I expected. I didn't expect to see so many aids and I was unsure with how to communicate with them. Also, the room was small and there wasn't space for volunteers and practicum students to sit next to participants. Essentially, I did more volunteer stuff. I prepared and cleaned paint trays, served snack, stuff like that.
Went to Panda after to steal some hot sauce & soy say for Little, then another quick Target run to buy Big in a box clues! Strategically plotted and bought different things for each little. I filled boy things in one & girl things in the other, but I gave both of them different types of chap stick to find me. Also decorated the outside completely different, and got help writing stuff to hide my handwriting.
Wednesday: Big in a box clue! I was freaking out because I had no idea what to put in my box.
Group meeting. Clothes Closet volunteering went well. I saw this brand new cute dress, which might possibly become mine if one of the participants doesn't want it. It's very simple and cute :) Had a bunch of laughs with the participants :)
Stopped my the tables to check some of the littles' binders, hehe. RUBIK'S CUBE. I have been reignited. AHHHHH, I feel a cuber phase coming back.. Just hearing me talk about it is like... AHHH. My fastest time was... 28.6, I believe. I wanna get back into shape! And I shall teach my Omega too, kekeke. I have a cool Omega :)
Snack shopping with my love :) Dollar Tree & Walmart! Then paddle shopping! (My wallet honestly hurts..) Watched Netflix then went to Sweet Tomatoes, nommy.
Came home and painted all the paddle stuff :) Hehehe, baby paddles and C's for my Littles :)
Worked on their snack bags :) I strategically gave one all the drinks and one all the food. Both of them said "Hi Little, Are you hungry? Better go find food" & "Hi Little, Are you thirsty? Better go find a drink" which lead them to each other :)
Thursday: Ping Pong class was alright. Beat my warm up partner 2/3, ahahaha. But I had a really off day and missed all my smashes. I really do like ping pong. I hope I can take intermediate next semester!
The Entertainer volunteering went well. Got to do some office work, and counted hecka candy for their Halloween party. Met some new participants.
Practicum. Teen Social Club was fun! So much more energy. It was a completely different environment, and I loved it! It was so cool because some of the participants I thought didn't really like me because they were nonverbal and didn't want to talk to me, but by the end of the night, they were talked to me a little! It was just super cool to see the difference one day can make in someone's life. Not even a day, just five hours!
Littles got their snack backs and they pretty much figured out they were twins, keke :) they got their families too! :)
Went over to Kevin's to assembly Clean kits and do some final prep for my Littles
Friday: Service! Lame service. I felt like I didn't get anything done. I hate those services :( It's like, I wanna help people, and I arrive and come ready to help, but then we just sit there. Waste of fours hours.
Practicum: Social Lites! Not gonna lie, this was a legit day. Super tiring, but I loved it! It's high functioning adults. We played all these games! It was an overall great night, and all the individuals were really cool!
Saturday: Practicum: Children's Rec! OMG I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME, definitely worth waking up early on a Saturday. Those kids are super cute. Although I had fun and connected with a few kids, it was still really challenging. It's weird though, cause I mean you can plan for everything, but with with special children, it's all up in the air and they don't necessarily do unorganized activities.
RAN AROUND SHOPPING FOR LAST MINUTE BSR STUFF/Spray painted/all that fun stuff.
BSR BSR BSR BSR BSR. Ahhh, I was super scared that my littles wouldn't like me or something, but I think they're both really excited :) I'm nervous, but super excited for them. And I'm so happy to have they both already :) My Littles, both kids at heart. Super kids, kekekeke I'm most definitely a baby big, but that's fine with me
Fam dinner with lots of food. SO MUCH FOOD. Didn't drink much, just a few beers. Played BP with my new NEPHEW. Because now I have one! We won against my littles! KEKEKE :P Winning shot? Off one of my littles hands, kekekekeke. REDEMPTION. Lost the second game though. And rage cage ending was super funny :) Loser bounced it into the last cup :P I love my family :)
After party. Gin & juice. Was super tired, so sat in a corner were hecka people decided to spill their guts to me. Pretty interesting night. Heard some rumor about me (Not negative, just incorrect). Went home and knocked out, and before I knew it, a week went by!
BSR out of the way. The next thing to worry about? Frosh Orientation interview. Monday.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Stopped working at the preschool. Just letting you lovely readers know. Too much to handle, and didn't work with my schedule. In the end, wasn't worth it to work there.
Big sibling application, check. Big sibling workshop, check. To do: Big sibling application part 2, point track sheet.
That's what Brotherhood is though, isn't it? Opening up to individuals, sharing and telling stories. Understanding why it is that they are they way. Good talk though. F'real. Weird, when I think about it. I don't believe I've ever really spilled my guts out before. 'Cause I think that's the most I've spilt at one time. I'm glad it's mutual though. I got you, bro. I just hope it's mutual. I think it is though, I think it is. Small world.I'm curious how long our talk would have went if we didn't have anywhere to go/anything to do.
Taking the plunge. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be freaking out so much. I wouldn't be worrying. I want this so badly. I haven't taken a step outside my comfort zone in a while. I need to stand on my own two feet. I need to accomplish something for myself. I need to do this for me, it's what I've always wanted.
Swimming session is over already. I can't believe it :( The first day really wasn't what I expected. I realize how much attention special kids truly need. Learned to be more assertive, don't worry about hurting them, hand-over-hand, communicating, disciplining, isolating, thinking on your feet, encouragement. I hope my Giggle Monster comes back for the November session :)
Mental health is interesting. Still getting used to it. They definitely make me smile and laugh though, and although I'm not used to the atmosphere, everyone is really friendly and welcoming. I wish all humans were like that.
These bruises (on my arms)
one day they will
fade. No longer
Black blue purple yellow
Hidden underneath
tone so simple
invisible, yet there
always there
always felt.
Aware, acknowledged.
Ignored.
Permanent.
If you're wondering, nothing is wrong. Just go about your day as usual :)
Active retreat this weekend. Planning mode time.
Big sibling application, check. Big sibling workshop, check. To do: Big sibling application part 2, point track sheet.
That's what Brotherhood is though, isn't it? Opening up to individuals, sharing and telling stories. Understanding why it is that they are they way. Good talk though. F'real. Weird, when I think about it. I don't believe I've ever really spilled my guts out before. 'Cause I think that's the most I've spilt at one time. I'm glad it's mutual though. I got you, bro. I just hope it's mutual. I think it is though, I think it is. Small world.I'm curious how long our talk would have went if we didn't have anywhere to go/anything to do.
Taking the plunge. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be freaking out so much. I wouldn't be worrying. I want this so badly. I haven't taken a step outside my comfort zone in a while. I need to stand on my own two feet. I need to accomplish something for myself. I need to do this for me, it's what I've always wanted.
Swimming session is over already. I can't believe it :( The first day really wasn't what I expected. I realize how much attention special kids truly need. Learned to be more assertive, don't worry about hurting them, hand-over-hand, communicating, disciplining, isolating, thinking on your feet, encouragement. I hope my Giggle Monster comes back for the November session :)
Mental health is interesting. Still getting used to it. They definitely make me smile and laugh though, and although I'm not used to the atmosphere, everyone is really friendly and welcoming. I wish all humans were like that.
These bruises (on my arms)
one day they will
fade. No longer
Black blue purple yellow
Hidden underneath
tone so simple
invisible, yet there
always there
always felt.
Aware, acknowledged.
Ignored.
Permanent.
If you're wondering, nothing is wrong. Just go about your day as usual :)
Active retreat this weekend. Planning mode time.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)