I wish the shower worked so I could take a nice long hot shower. I wish I didn't cry. I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I knew when to stop. I wish I knew how to react. I wish I knew how to lower expectations and standards. I wish I had a more realistic view on life.

I get excited over everything, meaning I also get let down about everything.

I'm not ready for this, but I know if I don't, I'll regret it, but is this the right attitude I should have?

You're a fourth year. Suck it up and be a grown up. Stop being so f/cking immature and childish. You're so f/cking bitter, jealous, and stubborn. You care way too much and you analyze stupid stuff.

For once, I'm the only one home at 10PM on a weeknight, which is kind of nice, but not at this state. I honestly wish I wasn't alone so my thoughts wouldn't eat me alive.

I told you once, and I'll tell you again- when I get like this, I just need you to hold me, even for a few minutes. In your arms, I feel invincible.

Who's to say I'll ever be able to be PT/PE. Who's to say I'll be a good big. Who's to say anything about this organization. Who's to say I'm ready.  If anything, it's pointless. I shouldn't care. It's just an extracurricular activity which doesn't matter in the real world. But to me, it's just so much more. I honestly don't feel like I have a passion in my life-life, but Alpha Phi Omega different. This organization makes me strive to be better, to do more. I care so much because I'm so passionate about it. I just hate that this passion is temporary. I doesn't count, and people honestly don't care about it. It's sad to have finally discovered my passion... yet know that this is temporary.