4/20

Watched Jomar's show. I really do have this thing where I want to be recognized for things I do.. I should probably work on that.. Canceled plans for the special meeting. Went to special meeting, then activation. Pretty lame day. Was butt tired from staying up late to grade those finals  from the night before. I'm excited & honored I was able to do part of the binders even though they said PA's wouldn't touch the binders. Heheheh :) 

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4/21

I guess there's  a new layout to Blogspot.. pretty weird if you ask me. Milk tea milk tea milk tea.. too much, now I'm wide awake. Who's idea was it to go to Verde? Ahh, next time I don't fall into peer pressure. No big milk tea for me. I can't handle it.

Note to self: Be careful who you believe because they may not believe it themselves. They might just be planting ideas in your head.

For sure no EXCOMM for me, but I am heavily considering having a little. Still editing my college life plan soon, but I'm fairly thrilled about all of it.

Politics, politics, politics. Sometimes APhiO can really suck, but in the end, the Chapter does what the Chapter wants. I wish I was able to say something... but it's hard when I'm so biased. This is the first time I've abstained in my life. I can't say I'm completely happy, but I'm not super duper pissed. I guess I'm just upset at the Chapter for... doing what the Chapter does.

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4/22

Nominations today. Got nominated for Treasurer,  Leadership, Friendship, Service, PR, Secretary, and Membership. I think the Chapter has a little too much confidence in me. Way more than I have in myself. It's funny 'cause I always get nominated every semester, but this semester it was for like.. everything. A lot of times people keep telling me that I have a lot of potential, and it's such a waste that I'm not on EXCOMM. I guess they're right, but then again, who's to say I'm ready for it? I think I rather just stick to my college plan that I'm still planning out. I'll do it when I have more time, but I am really considering picking up this semester :) I hope I like PT/PE though..

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4/23

A SEED HAS BEEN PLANTED IN MY BRAIN. I wanna go PT/PE eventually, but Andrew convinced me that I should have a little before I do it 'cause how am I supposed to mentor a whole bunch of people if I have no experience mentoring one person, but today Brian was saying how not having a little would be beneficial. People keep telling me to run for everything, and they keep asking me to be my Co, I'm not sure if people really want me to, or they actually see me in positions. 

So even though I'm miserable writing another paper, I rather be miserable than extremely bored. These past few weeks, I've been rather bored with my life. It's weird, but I'm happy to have assignments and have APO become busy all over again. What would I do without my college life :) 

Issue Brief, SWOT Analysis draft, Multi-cultural potluck this week. Awards for the pledges. I'm excited and APO Banquet this week :)
Gotta start working on AACF Banquet, especially the food. And Senior Night!
I guess this semester I'm unintentionally taking steps towards event planning, hehe. I kind of sort of really want to do programing board for AS next semester :) And technically speaking, it's volunteering, so no commitment. Depending if I like it or not, I'll go for programming director. If I don't like it, then I'll probably go for EXCOMM.

I can't believe my twin is going to do EXCOMM before me :( I don't mean to be jealous, but I'm not going to lie.. I kind of am. Yes, I can do it 'cause I've been nominated, and it's my fault for respectfully declining everything, but.. I've been planning this for a very long time, and he's never considered EXCOMM that seriously before, where as I think of it too seriously. That's just how we are though. He's the chill, carefree one, and I'm the planner. Funny 'cause Brent was just saying how I'm the only little who has gone for leadership positions. Looks like my twin is about to do it, and I know he's going to win. I should be proud, I am proud, I guess. I have a lot of confidence that he'll do fine, but man.. I always thought it'd be on EXCOMM and he'd be the support. Now the roles have switched. That's how it usually is.


Been considering getting my DSLR at the beginning of summer so I can practice all summer. Might be a reality if twin gets historian. Plus I can help Mel out with OOTD pictures if she wants to do it. I really want to go shopping this summer and buy clothes that I actually like to wear. I'm really tired of solid colored v-necks.

I think it's official- life has gotten boring. Even with all the excitement and anxiety I feel for all the littles, life seems to be missing something. School work isn't very challenging, and since I'm not being challenged, I'm unmotivated to try. I keep turning in assignments last minute and not trying. I look at every test like I have other tests to make my grade up, but I really don't. As I flip through my planner with packed weekends and assignments coming up, nothing seems to stress me out. Life is going on, and I'm starting to feel like a zombie just going through actions without heart.

It's going to be two years that I've been in Alpha Phi Omega. Two years. That's half of a typical college experience. How on earth did time go by so fast? Let's be honest, even though I'm not graduating for at least another three years.. will I even be around that much? Will I even want to step up? I want two positions.. but those are the ones people tend their AphiO career in. Dang it, what do I really want to do.

I want to step up, but to be honest, I need to make my decision by Sunday when nominations are being taken. I could just do Rush Chair, since I didn't get the position before. Maybe I'll be ready for it now. Although, maybe I can do something bigger, something better. But EXCOMM seems so scary.. Dang it, I honestly don't know, and I'm constantly thinking about what I want to do.

Then again, am I focusing too much on me? What about others surrounding me? I'm doing that thing where I forget there are people around me again.

This week I asked the kids if I should go for VP of Membership/get a little

Me: Do you think I should be VP of Membership
Kid 1: On Sundays I go to swimming class
Me & Carole: Ahahahaha
Carole: It must be have some hidden meaning
Me: Well Chapter is on Sundays, I guess it's a sign

Me: Should I be VP of Membership next semester?
Kid 2: ......yes
Me: Yes?
Kid 2: Yes
Carole: Well then, now you have to do it

Me: Should I get a little next semester?
Kid 2: What's a little?
Me: Like a little brother or sister
Kid 2: Yes!
Me: Should I get a boy or a girl. Teacher Carole has a girl
Kid 2: A boy!

Me: Should I get a little brother or sister next semester?
Kid 1: Uh-uh yes
Me: Should I get a brother or sister?
Kid 2: Sister!

It's that time of the year, fam scrapbook time! Good & bad. I'm pretty bummed about the specifications this year 'cause it puts a damper on the creativity.

Now's the point in the semester where it's time to evaluate where I'm at and what I want to accomplish next semester. Funny how I have all summer, yet I feel like whatever happens next semester is right around the corner. If anything, I just want to be proud of whatever I do. So here it comes, what position do I want to do next semester. Fam head? Awards Chair, or VP of Membership? But in all honesty, what about picking up?

The original idea was fam head & awards chair... but what happened? All of a sudden, my future goal of VP of Membership seems closer and closer.. and much more realistic. having two semesters of Membership committee under my belt is really helpful. And knowing that Cindy is right there is good as well. I just don't think I'm ready. And finally, I'm in the position where I'm debating on picking up. My original idea was Spring 2013, but now... now I'm kind of super excited to pick up. Dang it, I just want to get something done.

Here's one goal/dream I came up with last semester: Win a Gamma Beta of the month award. Low and behold, I received the March award for Gamma Beta of the month. Crazy, cause I never really thought I'd do it. I'm happy though, I really am. (Even though it's not really aesthetically pleasing)

VP Membership & PT/PE are the top two things I want to achieve in Alpha Phi Omega. Not only are they are hardest positions, but they're the unrecognized positions. They're the ones that put in all the work, and nearly no recognition. They're the hardest jobs in the fraternity.. and I want them. I honestly don't care much for being president since they don't do much of anything.

Eh, I'll think about this when I have time. Time to GSD.