Forgettable Wallflower

Although I only have a handful of readers, I think about everything I post on here for at least twenty-four hours before I post it (Tonight being an exception). For some reason, I need to reassure myself that someone, anyone who may randomly find my page will find what I talk about to be the least bit interesting. Sorry to disappoint everyone. My words/thoughts aren't really interesting, but I like to share them anyways.

Image by Jen Wong

Flowers are both lucky & unlucky.
Think about it, will you? Flowers get to know who they will live with for the rest of their lives. It's impossible for them to get divorced. They get to live nice, colorful lives in the sun and get appreciated by people. They are care-free. Flowers don't have to worry about school and friends. They don't need to socialize because they already know their soul mates. Flowers live drug-free and alcohol-free lives. Sometimes I'm envious of flowers... until I realize how much freedom they're lacking. They can't move. They don't get to choose their friends. What if they're not happy? They couldn't get divorced if they wanted to. Flowers don't get to pick who they end up with. It's kind of like an arranged marriage, right? Where's the love? Flowers can't show emotion, at all. They can't express their feelings. Imagine not being able to hug a loved one. Or not being able to talk. Or not being able to experience life. Flowers have predetermined lives. They don't get to make any decisions. I think I would die. I'm really not cut out to be a flower. Maybe that bugs me because I tend to think I am a wallflower.

This month I came up with a new thought- I'm forgettable.
There I go again telling a half-lie, but honestly? Most people are forgettable. Just today I ran into someone I knew at the mall. I, of course, tried to avoid him, but kind of failed. My perfect alone-time shopping was a bust, but whatever. He was with one of his friends whom I automatically shook hands with and introduced myself. Little did I know, I already met him. I think I hung out with him before too, but I still forgot about him. The sad part is.... he played a role in how I view certain things. (Yes, a guy I met like, twice affected my life. Most strangers/acquaintances do that.) I completely forgot his face, but I knew his name. Unless I affect people's lives and give them a reason to remember my name, will I just slip away into the cracks? Yes. Even if I give people a reason to remember me, most likely they'll forget about me. I am forgettable.

Without a group of people surrounding us, most people are afraid to take a jump and stand out. We, as a society, find is so... weird, so unreal for a person to do anything socially unacceptable that, even at a young age, we are trained to blend into a crowd. We all tend to be wallflowers. We are all forgettable. That's why I have no problem admitting that I am forgettable. I am a wallflower.

I've been thinking a lot in December, but haven't had time to write or blog. Expect multiple entries over Winter Break because I have time. Because it's the end of the year, they'll probably be more thoughtful, but I'm sure a fun entry or two will be up too.
Happy Holidays! It's almost Christmas!