One.
Image by Jen Wong.
Swinging is amazing. There's something about it that helps me both remember and forget. When I'm swinging, so many nightmare-ish thoughts come across my mind, but once I get past the first few minutes, I feel so free. If I close my eyes, I expect something different than just going back & forth. If I try hard enough... I just might fly. After a while of swinging, my mind goes completely blank. Everything comes to an end once I feel nauseated. I get so preoccupied with the nausea that I can't think about anything. I'm caught in a sea of despair when I realize what I love so much hurts me. No matter how nauseated I get or however much I am hurting myself, I always get back on the swing. I swear, it's like a drug.
Image by Jen Wong.Two.
Image by Jen Wong.
I blast my music. I know it's really bad for my ears and my health, but whatever. When I don't feel like talking to people, I blast my music so loud I can't even hear my own thoughts. Even though I can't hear my thoughts, it does wonders for my head, but I kind of fail. Every time I do, my heart beats significantly faster and I start to feel a pain in my stomach if I play it too loud. It hurts me, but I love it; it's like a drug.
Image by Jen Wong.So is this part of the reason people cut themselves? They love the pain? They need it? It's like a drug? If so, I've found two of my drugs.
I gotta get away from this crazy life
Get away from the hype
Get away from this two and two makes five
Take a look beyond what they see
Maybe you will realize
So come with me On my roller-coaster ride
Jay Sean - Come With Me
Get away from the hype
Get away from this two and two makes five
Take a look beyond what they see
Maybe you will realize
So come with me On my roller-coaster ride
Jay Sean - Come With Me
Wow that's pretty deep, Jen. I like swings too but if I'm swinging too high I get scared because I HATE heights. And playing my music too loud gives me an instant headache. It's like my head's saying, "Turn it down, fool." Maybe it's just your hobbies, or maybe it is a kind of drug or like an escape, a way for you to feel comfortable and free. Like me and my BFF (not you) TV.
ReplyDeleteOh btw that my military jacket isn't leather. It's like cotton or something. It's time to get you a leather jacket.
Nope the shoes are new :)
ReplyDeleteOh guess what? Sam has a fake leather jacket!!! GASP! That means you have to get one!
ReplyDeleteYeah I have thought about it, but I don't know what I'd do. A movie historian? What do they do except write more books on movies? Or a movie critic? I don't think I'm suitable for that. But it would be fun to incorporate movies into a future career somehow!
ReplyDelete