Because, honestly, I feel like crap for exposing myself and feeling vulnerable, only not not receive what I set out to do. That after all these accomplishments, and proving that I am more than capable of team building and creating a positive, cohesive group that I'm not trusted enough to maintain the majority. Of all things to blame, there are many- improper demonstration, pity, more time, but honestly, it kills me. Not for my self esteem, but rather this organization which I care so much about. It's that point where you care so much that you're concerned for the future of it, and the way it develops. Where is the faith? I fear for the future, and it pains me knowing I'm unable to fix things from within.

This semester, I have received more than enough criticism, I've questioned my strengths as a person, and have made myself vulnerable way beyond comfort level. I care too much about this organization to let it go in flames, I know I should have more faith in people.