I wonder if my kiddos will ever find my blog one day. Who knows. It's 4 weeks in, but it feels like I've had no time with my kids, yet I've had so much time with them. From a professional stand point, I'm extremely proud of all my kids. From the 53 that got pinned, to the 49 that are all my children, I'm beyond excited for the stories they tell me. I'm excited that they're enjoying pledging. I'm beyond excited when I hear them talking about wanting to do leadership positions. I can't wait for the moment that I'm at their Activation watching their real journey into this organization. I can't wait for the moment that all this stress is relieved from them. When they can cast away all their stress and anxiety, and look at how far they have grown through this program that we're created for them. Granted, our program is no walk in the park. It's not easy. I'm strict because my mommas were strict on me, but granted, if they weren't so strict on us, I would not have grown up so quickly. I would not be proud of my letters, and I would not be the person I am today. I'm a proud mama to all my kiddos. 

It's weird. It's a whole different world. I can't explain it to people. Relationships within APO are hard enough to explain, but explaining the role of a pledge mom is the weirdest, most complicated relationship ever. 

I'm excited for my children to go on their retreat. I can't believe how fast everything is going. Retreat is this weekend. LSR Sunday, BSR the following Saturday. That with school, and there really is more than enough things to occupy my mind. Don't even get me started with the flashback and current things running through my brain. 

It's a challenging semester, in more ways than one and I would not have predicted it. I mean sure, there are certain aspects that I understand, but I didn't expect to feel so close to my coworkers. I didn't expect to love working with the kids at work. I didn't expect to hate volunteering at the VA. I didn't expect memorizing kiddos names & getting to know them to be so hard. I expected/didn't expect how clingy I would become. I didn't expect so many units. I didn't expect all these thoughts trickling into my life. It's weird. Being submerged in a completely different pledge program has caused all these flashbacks for me. It's weird though 'cause I still don't remember much of pledging. Pushing back those memories, yet having them come back has been pretty tough these past few days especially.