Maybe I am a little more passionate about Alpha Phi Omega than I thought, but honestly, it saddens know knowing how much the chapter has changed. Yes, I've heard it goes through changes... but honestly, I'm a little heart-broken. I'm the one aspiring to be so many things, yet I'm extremely disappointed in the chapter. Who would have thought it'd get so low.

I wish I knew how poorly educated this last pledge class was when I was a part of it.
I have so much faith in this semester's pledge program, please oh please don't let me down.

All I want to do is sleep.I feel light-heading, I feel like I'm typing with my eyes closed. I'm tired of 7AM days, please end soon.

It's hard to be enthusiastic with all these events, knowing that it's not the best I could do. There's so much room to improve. I'm honestly really drained right now, and there's still a week left, four more events.

I'm off, I'm lagging, I'm not doing too great. It shouldn't be this difficult. I don't understand how and why this is so hard. I honestly don't know why, it shouldn't be.

So much to do this semester. Work, 150 hours+ of volunteering for class, active requirements, picking up.. I honestly didn't realize how much I had on my plate until last night. I'm scared I won't make it.

Third weigh in: -2 pounds

Fourth weigh in: -2 pounds

FINAL: -11.5 pounds

I won, got $70 richer, and met my first goal of 10 pounds! Now I'm debating on keeping the weight off. I guess I will, but my diet probably won't be as strict as it was this summer (Not that it was very strict). Yesterday I had boba for the first time this summer (Not counting the pink Socal boba/tiny amount of small boba from Teaway), and I think I grew an appreciation for Eggettes. For some reason, it was delicious, really good tapioca consistency. Then again, it could be because I haven't had real boba in forever. Got a milk tea rather than a flavored tea! Excited for that, and I got coconut Eggettes which were slightly disappointing ONLY because I wanted it to be like the Vietnamese pandan one, but it wasn't green. Despite that, it was insanely delicious, and I ate pretty much all of it. AND I ate my whole dinner portion, which I felt kind of guilty for doing, but I felt more satisfied (Although the food wasn't anything to write home about)

I'm telling myself I can't do this before I try. Here's the facts: Next weigh in is on Monday, August 13th. I'm going on vacation on the 12th. That means my next weigh in is on Saturday, August 11th.Six days. Why didn't I think of this before I bought that bag of chips.. Dang it, chips are my weakness. Sure, if I'm craving sweets, I can easily grab low calorie fruit snacks or chocolate, but chips? Nothing takes away a chip craving like eating a big helping of horrible-for-you-yet-oh-so-tasty chips. Why why why is my house constantly filled with chips. Why oh why do we eat chips during school sales and at the store. I have no self control. Dang it, goodbye Biggest Loser.

Right when I'm about to go to Raging Waters, I'm starting to not like myself in the mirror, yet again. Sigh. Time to go for a run after dinner, for real this time.