Sometimes my mind wanders without my knowing. There's always that temptation.. just click his Facebook. Or go find his Tumblr.. I guess in the end, I've accepted there's no regrets because I wouldn't be the person I am today without with. Could it be that now I'm over being bitter? Took long enough..
Although, am I really over it if I get that pain in my stomach when I see his fraternity's name? I get nervous knowing that I could possibly run into you. I don't want to see you. I hate knowing that there are friends that overlap. I hate knowing that people know that I was with you at all. I guess I don't hate it.. but I wish they didn't know, so they wouldn't judge.
Been a long time since thoughts about him have come up... but they're always late night. Today when I went to 7-11, I had a flashback of a memory of you. The time you had coffee for me waiting when I woke up. It's weird because I can't recall a positive flashback from you.
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I guess I'm on a APHIO high, but I'm happy. I really like my family, and I like the new littles we got :) Sure, I trolled (OMG, SO BAD), but my Sib got my back. Funny how this was compared to my BSR. I felt so awkward, but I guess now, it's all good because I'm comfortable, and luckily all the littles were good. Oh littles, how I favor all of you. I'm happy with everyone we got, but SHHHH. I'm not supposed to have favorites :)
Sure, I'm still bitter, but hey, I guess it's all good. 'cause even though he has four littles, I'm still one and I'll always be one. Despite how I want to change it. I'm so excited about everything this semester. I'm thinking of even picking up sooner. I just hope that I'll be a good big to my little one day
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This was supposed to be the semester I'm on top of all my crap, but I don't feel like I've been. I feel like I've failed. He said I'm going good though, but I can't help but by hard on myself. I guess yeah.. the lowest grade I've gotten is a B, but you can't get A's with a B :( Oh wait... I just remembered I got a C on something. Time to kick it into overdrive. This semester isn't over yet.
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Today was the 18th, yet I had no idea until you reminded me. One of these days, I need to surprise you 'cause you've been super great lately :) I really never thought there'd be anyone this understanding. I love you. I think that even though I hold extremely high expectations for everything, you're there and you make everything alright. & for some reason, my expectations don't seem impossible for you. For some reason, you reach almost all of them. For some reason, forever doesn't seem so scary when you're with me.