Me: What did you used to order at tapioca places?
You: Strawberry snows
Me: What happened?
You: I met this girl, and she was allergic to strawberries

Sometimes my mind wanders without my knowing. There's always that temptation.. just click his Facebook. Or go find his Tumblr.. I guess in the end, I've accepted there's no regrets because I wouldn't be the person I am today without with. Could it be that now I'm over being bitter? Took long enough..
Although, am I really over it if I get that pain in my stomach when I see his fraternity's name? I get nervous knowing that I could possibly run into you. I don't want to see you. I hate knowing that there are friends that overlap. I hate knowing that people know that I was with you at all. I guess I don't hate it.. but I wish they didn't know, so they wouldn't judge.
Been a long time since thoughts about him have come up... but they're always late night. Today when I went to 7-11, I had a flashback of a memory of you. The time you had coffee for me waiting when I woke up. It's weird because I can't recall a positive flashback from you.
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I guess I'm on a APHIO high, but I'm happy. I really like my family, and I like the new littles we got :) Sure, I trolled (OMG, SO BAD), but my Sib got my back. Funny how this was compared to my BSR. I felt so awkward, but I guess now, it's all good because I'm comfortable, and luckily all the littles were good. Oh littles, how I favor all of you. I'm happy with everyone we got, but SHHHH. I'm not supposed to have favorites :)
Sure, I'm still bitter, but hey, I guess it's all good. 'cause even though he has four littles, I'm still one and I'll always be one. Despite how I want to change it. I'm so excited about everything this semester. I'm thinking of even picking up sooner. I just hope that I'll be a good big to my little one day
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This was supposed to be the semester I'm on top of all my crap, but I don't feel like I've been. I feel like I've failed. He said I'm going good though, but I can't help but by hard on myself. I guess yeah.. the lowest grade I've gotten is a B, but you can't get A's with a B :( Oh wait... I just remembered I got a C on something. Time to kick it into overdrive. This semester isn't over yet.
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Today was the 18th, yet I had no idea until you reminded me. One of these days, I need to surprise you 'cause you've been super great lately :) I really never thought there'd be anyone this understanding. I love you. I think that even though I hold extremely high expectations for everything, you're there and you make everything alright. & for some reason, my expectations don't seem impossible for you. For some reason, you reach almost all of them. For some reason, forever doesn't seem so scary when you're with me.

There's so much I want to do, but I'm not sure if I'm capable of doing so. One step at a time, focus on this semester rather than the future. Keep moving forward. & keep a notebook full of ideas and goals too. I have too many ideas & no where to put them.

I'm sorry I never learn from my mistakes, but I can't control my emotions. I'm sorry I get clingy when I do so many things. I'll miss you this weekend, more than ever. /clingy

I'm BEYOND excited for pledge retreat though, you have no idea :) & even though things aren't how I imagined it as a PA, all I'm doing is learning more and more things that I'd like to do with my future. I just hope I reach a point where I am capable of doing it. I'm in training, a work in progress.

I wish there was a book called "How to Lower Your Expectations" 'cause I could sure use it.

This tends to happen & it's always my fault. I'm sorry I can't control my emotions. I'm sorry I can't show my appreciation when I'm breaking down. I'm sorry that I complain that you don't do so-and-so when in reality, I'm the one not listening to you when you do so-and-so. I'm the one taking you for granted. Afterwards, it's always more apparent to me. Technically, this was because of that phone call, but if I had to redo it any other way, I'd want that phone call. It shows me how much you care about me.

I wish I was able to sit still and work. I need you here watching me. I swear, I think I take dependency to a whole new level.

This semester really isn't tough. My classes are interesting and they're not hard, but I'm lacking motivation this semester, for real. I though it would all slip into place once I got my planner. Instead, I'm procrastinating just as much, if not more in all my classes. I'm typing this instead of working on my paper due at 9AM. I BS-ed my group project and we present tomorrow. I have two tests I really didn't know I had this week... and I can't get anything done. This hour cut is better for me. Sure, I'm bummed, but at least I have more time to get organized and be there for the pledges. And sleep, it'd be nice to work during the day and sleep at night. I'd love some sleep right about now. I think I'm getting clingy. Clingy to the point where you're not next to me & you're my study buddy & I can't get anything done now.. man, I was doing so well in the library too. I always start thinking when I have coffee..

Are you serious? You're changing my hours again? I can understand cutting Thursdays from me because I was added on & let's be honest, I'm not really needed there. But Tuesdays? Tuesdays, I was specifically scheduled in there. & I know for a fact you are understaffed on Tuesdays without me. I know that your family has been under a lot of stress lately & many workers have left & there are days without aids. I think that last thing you should be doing is cutting my hours. Yes, I'm a simple teacher's assistant. I'm a college kid. I'm disposable, but it doesn't make sense to keep giving me these hours.
I spent a little over a month just dealing with 3 hours a week. I stayed the rest of the semester getting 7 hours. At the time, you hired me for 10 hours. Thanks for increasing my hours this semester. And thanks for the raise. Thank for adding more hours.... but then you tried to cut me to 9 hours. That's not cool. & I find out that in retrospect, I'm not getting paid as much as your other assistants who haven't even been here for that much longer than me. & You're trying to cut me down to 9 again?
I planned my whole extracurricular life around work. This just isn't good. You think a place with kids would have a little more consistency. I'm just so bothered.. It's not right to be treated like this.. I'm not sure if I even want to stay working here. It's not cool.
I understand that I'm lost at the other site, but that's because everything keeps changing. I feel like you should just move me to my main site on Tuesdays & Thursdays, even Friday mornings if you need the help then too. It's better to have consistency for the kids so they have familiar faces and I'm more comfortable working there.
I just feel really upset that this keeps happening to me.