Confession (2): I never know how to react when people tell me I'm always happy.... and/or fake.
This happens constantly, believe me. I guess it started in high school, and whenever people tell me this, I tell them I'm not. But you know what? What's the point of trying to disprove them? They're already set in their ways. Just know that I'm not always happy. No one is ever always happy. I have my moments where I'm sad or mad, or straight-up depressed. I just hate showing negative emotions.
So technically speaking, if I hide my negative emotions, I guess that could come off as being fake. In all honestly... it's just that people don't know me well enough. If you're close to me and you spend enough time with me, you'll be able to see the difference. Don't be offended if you don't see it. When it comes down to it, I really am a happy person. I do find utter happiness in the simplest of things, and I do strive to be content with my life .
Confession (3): It's really hard to get close to me, as crazy as it seems. Kevin's word for it is... being a surface friend, or something like that involving the word surface. I tend to be close to people on only a surface level, but when it comes to a personal level, it's one-sided. I don't open up to very many people. In reality, it's all my fault, and I acknowledge that.
Sure, a lot of the things I just mentioned are stuff I'd never say out loud, but like I said, I'm getting out of my comfort level. That's what all these confessions are going to help me do.
One more confession (4): Making these types of posts really do make me nervous about what the people that read this are thinking, but I'm trying to remember that it shouldn't matter. Why should it matter what these people are thinking? And if people out there are looking at me differently, well at least they're looking at more of the real me than they saw before.
Honestly, I have no idea where I'm going with all these confessions, or these posts. All I know is this is just like allowing someone to read my journal. & as I said before, I'm alright with that. & originally I wanted to post each confession individually, but these just kind of poured out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think being cheery is your natural personality, it doesn't mean you're fake. Not everyone has to express every emotion they're feeling.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love you Jen! You should just let people think what they think. They are opinions after all, there is no right or wrong. Honestly, sometimes, I wish that I can as optimistic as you are. You can tell me that you aren't, but that is the way that I see you.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that you are fake for hiding your negative emotions. I agree with Mel, "not everyone has to express every emotion they're feeling." Of course, you're not a robot, I know that you have the same feelings as everyone else, but to pass those emotions and feeling on to other people, that is your choice.
Jen, I thought that we were somewhat close, but I guess that we are farther apart then I thought. I find that from your blogs, I'm similar to you.