Just Like High School

When something is important to me, it really does matter to me.
It's really easy to gain my respect. It's somewhat difficult to lose my respect.

I get affected by drugs and alcohol a lot. If someone who I'm not close to does both of them, I don't exactly care, but if someone close to me dose stupid things, I take it harder than anyone I know. I lose my respect for those people. I don't look at them the same way. I never forget that they've done stuff. When I find out they still do stuff after knowing me, I lose hope. All my efforts go to waste and I'm never, ever the same person. The concept and my thoughts go way deeper than what I'm mentioning, but maybe that will be in a different entry.

I thought I'd leave these thoughts behind after I got out of high school, but I can't. I can't help but look back on my experiences with certain people and.... just slap myself in the face. I can't help but read back on my old journal entries and feel as if it happened yesterday.
Last time these feelings returned, I thought reading my yearbook would make me happier, make me see the change people claimed I made in their lives. Last time it didn't work. This time, well I'll let you know.

I got sidetracked. First my entry was supposed to be about my weekend, then my adventures with fellowship hopping, then I actually turned my laptop on because I wanted to write an entry about kissing. Now, now it's just like high school all over again.
How will I ever be able to sleep?