I wish I took more time to dedicate time to this blog. Not for others, of course, but for myself. As I find myself plunging into what may be the busiest semester/time of my life, I'm started to feel nervous & anxious. I'm ambitious. A little too ambitious. Look at me, the girl who pledged & couldn't handle pledging. Who cracked at all the stress & was constantly haven't break downs. Who would even begin to think I'm the same person.

It's weird. 'cause I think to myself: do it for my kids. I don't even know my kids. I'm sitting here editing documents & just day dreaming about my kiddos. Who knows how this semester is going to turn out. All I know is that by this time next week, I'll have children. It's starting to feel more & more real. What if we don't teach them well? What if they have issues about anything? I'm sitting here and I just keep thinking about them. What if we don't raise them well? What if they struggle? What if the semester is too hard for them? What if it's too easy? These kids better learn to respect older members and cherish those letters. This organization may be all inclusive, but it doesn't mean we take anyone. It's for hard working individuals. I want to harness individuals that'll give back to the Chapter. Welcome those who care & those who identify. Goodbye dead weight. All you do it piss me off.

I'm not concerned with the opinions of people in the chapter. I'm concerned about my kids. I guess this is what real moms feel. I think about them more than me, and I'm taking on a lot this semester. There I go again thinking of others before me.

This summer has been one of my busiest- by far. Jugging two jobs was new for me.

The uniform store has been really interesting this summer. It's my 6th summer, meaning I've become one of the more seasoned employees. Often times at work, I'm interrupted by new people to ask them questions or do something that they're not able to do. We hired about nine new people- more than we ever have in the past. In addition, three of our senior employees are leaving the store & moving onto bigger and better things. Work has been more stressful than I'm used to- filled with annoyance rather than fun, but don't get me wrong. There's plenty of fun to be had (Especially when working with me). It's just weird. This job is my first job- the one I compare every job to. It has a good system, good pay, and a great environment. As an employee, I'm treated better than I've been treated anywhere else. This place is honestly more than a work place, it's become a family. When I was first hired, they said I was a part of the Classic Designs family.. only it took me a few summers & a few work places to really appreciate it. Now that we've been hiring so many new people, it's been a reality check and wake up call. My generation is passing. The people I looked up to at the store are gone, and I'm becoming one of them. Yet, how long will I actually be working here? It's not like this will be my job forever. I got this job with the intention of making some money over the summer, not gaining a family. What's going to happen when I get older? Will I still come back & help out as school sales? What's going to happen when Auntie Helen and Uncle Donald don't want to own the store anymore? When Michelle leaves and focuses on something else? What will happen to the business I care so much about? We're not going to be young forever.

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